Southern Ramblings from My Heart

636112184612578536855433122_southernatheartfoodnetworkI am a born and raised southern man from Greenville, Mississippi. I went to college at Louisiana Tech Univ, Ruston. I married a southern girl from Shreveport, LA. I am proud to be from the south.

The south had a southern culture before slavery and the civil war. It had a culture after the civil. There are those who still choose to define the south based on the cotton-slave culture that gave way to the beginning of the civil war. That was not the south. That was the cotton-slave culture though many took part in it. Many did not. I know from the south that many tout the atrocities committed against the south by the union armies. The confederate army committed atrocities against the north. Yes, slavery to was and is an atrocity against the basics of humanity.

Nothing is going to change as the those in the south base life and beliefs on the end of the civil war. The nation is not going to change unless we all step outside of the context of the civil war that formally end in 1865.

I do not live in the south or the east or the north. I live in Everett, WA north of Seattle. I was amazed when I moved here and discovered “civil war” cemeteries marked with “Yankee” and “Confederate” graves. Symbolic of the wide spread affect of the war to this day.

Is there prejudice and racism? Yes!

Many do not realize that Tammy and I are from the south. We have lost much of our accent. We felt forced to work to lose our accent when we move to Kansas City, MO in 1988 where is was made clear to us that we were looked down on because we were white southerners. To this day many social and racial lines are based on the civil war and when we lived there those differences were reinforced in parts of society. We even had family, friends, who asked why we were moving to “damn Yankee country” when we moved to KC. White on white and black on white prejudice because we were from the south.

I do no mean to downplay the racism and prejudice perpetrated on non-whites, specifically black Americans. What I have learned that racism and prejudice flows so many different directions.

I currently drive Uber in Seattle. This has given me a view of the pervasiveness of racism and prejudice. I regularly have white riders comment or at least take notice that I am “white Uber driver”. I have even had comments as to how long it has been since a white rider had seen a white driver.

There is even prejudice between different ethnic groups of drivers through looks and glances followed by selected vocal tones when one sees a driver of different ethnic background.

My daughter has a black friend at her work. She uses Uber to go back and forth between work and home, and she has a hard time getting a ride. In her part of the city many of the first drivers that arrive are from a particular non-white background. They pull up, see a black person, shake their head no, and drive off. I could not believe it.

I am aware of the look of anger, fear, distrust, I receive from many ethnic groups because I am a white male. This stuns me each time it happens. It also saddens me.

I am white. I am aware I have unintentionally denied some things for a while. Today I am working on changing some those viewpoints, or the lack of viewing them.

Prejudice, racism, is alive and flourishing from so many different points. Each of us needs to take a look at our life and root it out. We cannot take action on it if we are not willing to look it in ourselves. And, whites, like me, starting with me, need to take the lead.

Enough for now.

Peace All

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You Have a Choice with Your Fears

 

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What are you afraid of? Spiders, darkness, snakes, falling . . .those are fears outside of you.

I ask again, what are you afraid of? I am pointing at the inside fears in your mind, heart, soul, that you don’t like to look at or talk about; that you dread hearing mentioned in a conversation or a meeting.

Not being good enough, rejection, shame, unworthy, unlovable, can never have my dream, fraud . . . Those are some of mine.

What is fear stopping you from being and accomplishing? More precisely, what are you allowing fear to stop you from being and accomplishing? And what is it costing you?

You are reading what I allowed fear to stop. My first email newsletter. I started the account for an email newsletter in January 2015 and now I am finally taking the action.

What got in my way? Fear . . . I didn’t know enough, why would anyone read what I wrote, everything had to be perfect, not asking for help, people might not like me for it . . . all rooted in fear. The cost has been not growing my coaching practice and coaching clients, financial struggles, connection with people, condemning myself.

Allowing fear to stop me in my life has cost me friends, connections, money, business, growth, time, travel, freedom, peace of mind.

We all have fears and we all have allowed our fear to stop us at some point in our lives.

Does life always have to be like this?

No, life does not have to be like this.

What can you do when fear shows up?

  1. Embrace the fear. Notice, acknowledge, name the fear. Bring the fear into the open. Fear cannot grow in the light. Fear grows when it is hidden and kept in the dark. Talk about it. Write about it. Share about it. Air it out. A side benefit is discovering you are not the only one with fear.
  1. Reframe your fear. It is just a feeling that stops you. If you feared something, even the same thing, in the past, fear is still only a feeling. Past fear and past circumstances do not have to influence your present. The connection is one you choose to make. Fear is false evidence appearing real.
  1. Practice self-compassion. Many times, when fear shows up we ask, “what did I do wrong?” “What’s my problem?” Or maybe “I am such a loser.” We condemn ourselves for being afraid. I know because I do. Understand your fear. It is a leftover from caveman days of fight or flight, a left over from our younger days when we did not know what to do with fear. If you had a scared child with you would you get mad and blame them, or provide warmth and comfort? Be nice. Allow yourself warmth and comfort.
  1. Take action. Take a step despite your fear. Positive action is the best defense to fear. When fear shows up many times we stop our action. Lack of action in the face of fear reinforces the fear. Consider that when we resist action, fear persists.

You may be afraid!
You may have allowed fear to stop you!
You have a choice!
Choose a new way now!

More Ramblings – Disenfranchisement

The Following is a FB post I wrote on November on 10 about 36 hours after the election.

The word disenfranchise is being used a great deal in this election and politics as a whole. I have seen and heard where Clinton’s supporters feel disenfranchised. I have seen and heard that those who voted for Trump felt disenfranchised by the Obama administration.

Disenfranchise has 3 main definitions that I have found. The first is to be “deprive of the right to vote”. That is not the case here. Of the 240 million voting age US citizens only 4 millions because of the law are not allowed to vote. That leaves 236 million voting age of which only about 200 million are registered to vote and only about 120 million of the 200 million voted. Of developed countries the US has one of the lost voting percentages in the world.

The two other definitions are “deprive of a right or privilege” and “deprive of power, marginalized”. I believe this is where it starts. In my first paragraph I used the phrase “feel disenfranchised”. The key is word is feel or feeling. Of the 240 million voting age or registered we have about 115 million people on both side who feel their vote does not matter so they either do not register or do not vote.

Every citizen in this country has rights and privileges by law. That said I know that is not perfect. However, I believe that most of the nation, either side, feel like they do not have the rights and privileges of law. The key again is “feel like.”

The third definition is “deprive of power or marginalize.” Again the phrase “feel like” will come into play.

My point is the greatest percentage of the nation feels no sense of personal power, personal greatness, personal freedom. This is a societal systemic issue. What has happened to personal power, greatness, and freedom? I know in the past it was taken away by law for many. I believe that is not the case now. Either way I assert the government cannot grant or take away that which you feel like you will never have or cannot have regardless of law. We have a system where 10’s of millions are depending on the government or another group for their personal power, greatness, freedom.

This is the saddest and most critical part. Everyone by right of their being has personal power, greatness, freedom. Each person must claim it, activate it, use it, live it, share it. And not wait on the government or another group to say “you have it, go use it.” This nation was founded on innate personal power, greatness, and freedom but we have allowed it to be beat, drained, taken from us. Some felt powerless when it was beat, drained, taken but even beating, disservice, lack of legal rights cannot take it away unless we allow it. Not even money, wealth can change this.

Those of us who know this, live it, believe it, (power, greatness, freedom), even if we ourselves struggle with it, need to shout it from the low places and the high places. Remind the adults, middle aged, even the elderly, and teach it to the children and teens. Everyone has regardless of age. This not something that we adults need to say “its too late for us, let the young make it.” Bullshit! We are there example. Are we telling them its there, its ok when your young but don’t count on it as an adult? In this I include every person of color, white, black, brown, tan, red. Every LBGT and every straight person.

Nothing, no one can take away what is yours by God-given, universal, natural design unless you give it up. Reclaim and take back what is yours, always has been, always will be.

My Rambling Thoughts from The Day After

The following is a FB post I wrote on the morning of November 9—–

My current rambling thoughts.

I voted. I did not like either choice but I voted. I have voted in every election since I turned 18.

It is time for the name calling to cease. It serves no purpose.

And regardless of what you think, the majority of this country spoke.

If you actually pay attention to this country you could see this coming. At some point the masses will speak. In recent times this has been set up since at least Reagan but the roots can be traced back much further. Maybe to the civil war. News has said for a year that we as a nation are more polarized now than at the end of the civil war in 1865.

Did anyone think Trump would be elected? No. Yesterday morning, by news reports, the Trump camp was leaning toward not being elected. The Clinton camp leaning toward being elected. Based on polls? Probably. As heard news last night say, both conservative and liberal media, maybe its time to throw out the current prediction models.

Several interesting points. Trump may have received one of the largest evangelical votes in the last 100 years. Next is generational lines. I saw one percentage break down last night that had Clinton carrying the 18-44 and Trump the 45 and up crowd. Its seems most comments this morning are along those lines.

Clinton was the politician. Trump was the outsider. I suggest that the DNC and RNC both pay attention to the results.

Founding history can give us a clue here. I believe the founding fathers never conceived of career politicians. It can be said that that is one part of what the American Revolution was fought over. George Washington was elected the first president, then went back home. Maybe a simplistic view but it fits.

Trump might be considered the 3rd party candidate who ran under the Republican flag without the machines support. All thought no one could be elected without the DNC or RNC machine.

Appears that thought discounted the machine called the American people. Those people that I have seen called the uneducated. That comes off to me as elitist. That I am more educated than you thus I can vote better than you.

Clinton has been called an elitist. Obama and Romney both were called elitist. Trump was not whether he is or isn’t. One may make the statement that most of our leaders in modern times have been elitist. Elitism is one thing that is at the root of this. Each group thinking they are “better than” the other. Not just good but actually better than the other group. This may not be you but I assure you it is out there.

And “better than” is based in fear. It is not enough to “be good.” To count I must be “better than”. Chocked full of fear and powerlessness. To be someone and have power I must be more than someone else.

Politics as run now is fear based. Candidates may share a little of why they are the best but they spend most the the time telling why the other guy is bad. Then they appeal to your fears. We need a new system that does play on our fears. As long as a fear-based system is in place nothing will change.

Enough rambling for now.

Politics as run now is fear based. Candidates may share a little of why they are the best but they spend most the the time telling why the other guy is bad. Then they appeal to your fears. We need a new system that does play on our fears. As long as a fear-based system is in place nothing will change.

Enough rambling for now.

Peace to Orlando

30257-Martin-Luther-King-Jr-Quote-I-have-decided-to-stick-with-love-HateMy heart goes out to all of those affected and touched by the horrible shooting in Orlando. Prayers, peace, love, light to everyone touched.

I am proud I have friends who are LGBT, straight, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, atheist, theist, deist, no claim, from multiple nations, ethnicities, languages, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Socialist . . . and I like it that way. I have designed my life that way. I am proud of my life.

This mass murder has been called a hate crime, a terrorist attack, a combo of both. I see terrorism as a hate crime. It’s all the same. You can even throw bullying in the same pile. It all starts and comes from the same place. It is also my personal believe, from my own life and evidence, that it all starts with some sort of bullying, put down, insult combined with the feeling of being powerless, and the believe that the only way to have power is to reciprocate on a small level. It then grows from there. That is how wars start. That is how terrorism and hate grows.

What if we all start with one person in our life. One person close-by. Change that relationship thus changing us and them, and changing that one piece of the world. Why? Because it I hate someone across the planet that I have not met, that is not first hate. It started with someone close to me. It may have started with hate that was directed at me. And I grew it to hate others. You see I know that has happened to me. It is not something I desire in my life.

Some will read this and ask, “Would he defend himself and his family?” Yes, I would but at the same time I will not hate and I will stand for peace.

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The Water Is

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In all of time
In all of worry
The water is
It ebbs, it flows
Its tides go back and forth
The water is
No time nor worry

In all the storms
In all the winds
The water is
It rolls, it surges
It crashes back and forth
The water is
No storms nor winds

In all the softness
In all the hardness
The water is
It caresses, it hammers
It bends back and forth
The water is
No softness nor hardness

In all that is past
In all the present
The water is
It was, it is
It always will be
The water is
No past nor present

The water is
No matter what is
Time or worry
Storms or wind
Caressed or hammered
Softness or hardness
Past or present
The water is

Am I the water
Is the water me
Am I life
Is the water life
Are we the same
Ebb and flow
I am, the water is

© Tommy Price 2016

Gain with A Change of View

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A few months ago I attended a professional networking event for coaches and human resources managers. The last speaker was the only one who got my attention. To start with, he did not look like an HR manager especially as compared to the others. Once introduced he took the mic and stepped down from the stage to the level of the rest of us and he had my attention.

Once off the stage he asked everyone to reach under their seat and pull out the card that was taped there. Everyone did so. We all had the same card. His directions were “you have 30 seconds to memorize the back of the card.

Most everyone in the room was studying the back of the card. At the end of the 30 seconds he called out and we focused on him. He then said, “Please count all the letter F’s on the card.” After several minutes he asked everyone who found 4 or less to stand up. That was about one quarter of the audience. Next was who found 5 or 6 F’s on the card. Those who stood appeared to be about half of the audience. About one quarter of the audience had not stood. Then who got 7 F’s. I stood in this group. Still some had not stood up. Finally, who found 8 F’s on the card. I was surprised and double checked the card. I still only found 7 F’s. The rest stood up. I was perplexed.

The back of the card that we had been asked to memorize read:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE

RESULT OF YEARS OF

SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED

WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF

MANY YEARS OF EXPERTS

And there are only 7 F’s in that phrase that was on the back of the card. So where was the 8th F? It was on the other side of the card in the word “software”. You see memorizing the back of the card was the dis-tractor. It limited the vision of most of us. The directions to count the F’s were to count the F’s on the card. Not just the back of the card that we had originally focused on. The exercise was about thinking outside the box regardless of the directions or the dis-tractor.

Those who counted 4 or less F’s left out most of the F’s in the 4 of’s. This group focused on the F’s in the big words not the little words. Those who only found 2 F’s found the 2 in the first 2 words that started with F. Going up the count 4, 5, 6 just missed an F or 2. Usually they missed one of the F’s or the F in scientific. Those who got 7 only counted the back of the card which we had been asked to memorize. Those who got 8 heard the final direction to count the F’s on the card.

Are you limiting your thinking by only looking at one side of the card, box, issue?

Are you only counting the big things while looking past the seemingly unimportant ones?

What could change for you by seeking a new or different view of the situation?

What breakthroughs, opportunities could “magically” appear with a shift in vision?